Life after Social Media
One of my favourite photos on social media, relevant, I guess, because that’s what I’m writing about, this is what, in their eyes, we stand to lose. - Sidari, Corfu 2023
Life after social media
I wanted to share a journal entry that I wrote on the 12th of January 2025. The first section is old but private, the second section is my thoughts on a post-social media life.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've been thinking about coming off of social media for a while, I know, I know, "It's not an airport where you don't have to announce your departure." but that's just the thing, we used to use it for anything, asking our other half to pick up eggs from the shop, or summoning your friends for a night on the town or sharing a funny photo. Now, it's not remotely personal; I don't see the people I like and find interesting; I see ads and posts from people I never followed that are also thinly veiled ads. If Facebook does happen to show me something from someone I know, it only seems to hand-pick the negative. It's nothing but arguments, fake displays of virtue or copy-paste intelligence, politics or opinions posed as fact. This is not anyone's fault, and I mean anyone, it's the fault of algorithms operating completely unchecked. Facebook, along with all current media, has become a war for our attention, and it only serves to make everyone, and everything, exaggerate and exacerbate; more drama = more attention. We click the negative, hover over the gross and screenshot the extreme. While that person who is walking their dog or talking about something they're passionate about, never gets exposure, because they will quite simply never be as intriguing as a video that appears to show someone right before they unknowingly walk into a lamppost.
This place is not healthy for us, and I lie to myself and say that I need to be here or I'll drop out of touch with people, but the truth is that, if I left, the people who got in touch by other means are the ones I wouldn't want to lose, that they would be right there. The only tangible thing I have to lose is 12 years of photo-based memories that are tied up on Facebook servers. yea, I'll make sure to go through them one by one and add them to my journal with my posts, the ones that mean anything to me anyway and then I'll wrap things up and be on my way.
I would like to say I'm going somewhere else where I can meet anyone who has had enough of this toxic place, but I can't find one worthwhile space on the internet. Not that I think everything I say is gold or that I should be heard; I just enjoy writing, and much like singing or dancing, an audience is kinda key for peer enjoyment and, more importantly, conversation. Maybe I could start a blog, but again, I've always been such a fan of 2-way conversations; the idea of putting content out into the world seems to defeat the purpose of reaching out to people with thoughts or information.
Fuck it, you know what, I'm out; it'll take a few months, I think to copy all most posts and add them all to my journal, and then ill find somewhere else to go. I will still be online operating as Raven Forge, but I would like to remove the ability to "scroll" and intake shit media I never asked for.
If I choose to control my food intake because to much shit is bad for me, its no different to control my internet intake, because too much of that shit is bad for me too.
One will make me fat or un-fit, the other will make me sad and stupid.
Onwards and upwards.
Tom
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As it turns out, that was the last day I had social media apps on my phone and, honestly, it’s has been revolutionary. After writing the post, I made the hard decision to abandon my photo memories that were locked behind the Facebook account wall and just step away. I concluded that this must be the main way they lock people in who desperately want to leave, this is why every day it shows you your memories first, you’ve got to remember, Social media and media companies done do anything for you, so if they’re doing it, it’s for a reason, and I think that reason is customer retention. I speak to a lot of people who actively hate being on social media, it is an addiction, one I’m getting out from under and believe me, it’s not east to kick. Its subtle and easy to justify but I’ve been addicted to a few things in my life, and I know what addiction feels like, and you only see this level of defence of something when the person feels guilty or knows their use of it is truly destructive.
Allow me to be doom and gloom for a minute and talk briefly about addiction, skip the next paragraph if you’re feeling particularly jolly and don’t want anything bumming you out:
I’m pleased I’m off it, yes, but I do feel like the awareness of this kind of addiction is low, not only low, but trivialised, It’s only a mobile phone, right? Addiction of any kind is a horrible destructive thing, and the amount of parents I see on the school run shouting at their kids while their eyes are firmly locked on their phone screens, all the while the child plays up ever more, desperately trying to gain some of that laser focused attention their grown up show that little box in their hands. Couple out to dinner, both sat in silence looking at their phones, both unaware of the other, or in worst case scenarios, one person sat while the other looks at their phone. I can’t change these things, and I know this, but it doesn’t stop me worrying where it all leads. Generational addiction is something we saw in the 80’s with smoking and drinking, where kids as young as 4 or 5 would start smoking like their parents, and now, we see parents handing their kids a mobile phone with some shit dancing pineapples on the screen to plicate them while the parent continues to scroll. I’m not saying it shouldn’t happen at all, I’m saying its all too common and all too frequent.
On a personal and professional level, how do I feel, putting out posts and reels from my company every day into a polluted and unhealthy environment like Facebook, Instagram and TikTok? Honestly, alright, anyone running a business is up against the same problem. we used to buy billboards and magazine ads, because that’s where everyone was, but now we must create on social media, because that’s where everyone is. I long for the day when I can move back to physical advertising, and I’m grateful for what social media has given me through the medium of being able to “go live” and create a community on Facebook with loads of wonderful people. But that’s part of the problem, isn’t it, its not about the nice community making or the fun lives, it’s about what it is doing to us as a whole. The average American has an 8-hour 34 minutes screen time per day, the average UK person 6-hour and 40 minutes, its too much, far too much, and we need to learn to limit, moderate (personally, not nationally) or stop.
Anyway, other people aside, I’m very pleased to be at the other side of social media, my screen tim is down from 3.5 hours a day (you can check ours in the “digital wellbeing” app that’s on every Samsung if you use Samsung, if you use iPhone google it) to just 1.5 hours, mostly spent in WhatsApp or chrome, things I use for my business. What this does mean, Is that for as long as I can remember, I have been dedicating 2 hours of every waking day to the pursuit of digital dopamine. Bad numbers, sad times, and something I’m trying very hard not to mourn.
Stay safe out there, addictive things are becoming ever more addictive and even more subtle. Vapes, social media, reels, energy drinks. It’s a scary time to be a consumer. Let’s try to do it as responsibly as we can.
Go team.
Tom